Death Row Express (short story)

Useless Book Club

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Here’s a short story by guest writer K. B.

“You’ll be put on death-row express.”

“I’ll be put on what?”

“Death row express, death row but more express. Expressly death row. No need for any extra faffing here!”

“I haven’t been charged with anything, why exactly am I being sent anywhere?”

“Well, we’ve had a look at your total life achievements and find them underwhelming. So we’ve decided this is best for everyone involved.” This came from the somewhat portly gentleman sat next to the man who declared the sentence.

“So, you’re telling me that not only is this meeting not to discuss the photocopy incident, but that I’m to be put to death?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic. No one’s being put to death, there’s far too much paperwork involved in that. Not to mention those pesky human rights activists… You mentioned a photocopy incident. Care to elaborate?”

You can…

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