Letter To A Tobacco Giant

Dear Messrs Benson and Hedges,

I am writing to inform you of a most unsettling event that has taken place this morn. It is an occurrence of such gravity that I feel you must be made aware.

It concerns one of your tobacco products, a pack of Benson and Hedges, of which I have been a loyal consumer since the ripe and boisterous age of three and ten years.

I’m certain you have heard the old joke of the French waiter and the hair in the gentleman’s soup. Never in my most feverish imaginings did I think that such an event could transpire in this medium.

But what else should I find trailing lewdly from my cigarette end as it approached the five centimetre mark, but a hair (or fibre of some other sort).

I thought that you should be made aware of this grave error in your manufacturing process, lest some other harm come of it. As for myself, I was sufficiently appalled by it that I have taken to smoking a pipe, an act which has provoked an unfavourable cough.

Yours Sincerely,

A Disgruntled Admirer